New journey

Actually, I have been on a new journey since Dec.14 of '08, when my wonderful husband of 27 1/2 years passed away. Every aspect of my life changed in that moment. Things have not been the same since. My best friend was no longer at my side, my provider, protector, spiritual head, all gone in one breathe, literally.

I have had to learn so much. Dale took good care of me and the girls. We did everything together, accept golf. I have had to do all the things he did, other then pastor, as well as what I had always done. I don't like it most days. I still get overwhelmed, like having to get a new auto insurance policy. Ugh! I don't like talking on the phone, and then to add business to that!

Yet, Dale prepared me in ways I didn't even know he had. I am finding that as much as I don't like doing certian things, I realize I can do them. I know, it sounds so old-fashioned. I liked it that way.

Tomorrow, I sign on my new house. I am excited, as I look forward to getting settled, my own things about me, yet it feels so odd to be doing this without Dale. It is still hard sometimes to wrap my brain around the fact he is really gone. Only my signature will be on the papers, I will be wholly responsible for this house. When the plumbing goes wankie, when its time to get more firewood, when a window breaks... its all mine.

The emotions at times like this are hard to make sense of. Joy, saddness, even betrayal, as if I am leaving Dale out of the process, like I said we always did everything together.

A new house, a new beginning, a new bend in the road. I am grateful that the Lord has trodden this path before me. He has proven He is trustworthy. He is faithful. He is a God of blessing.

In my new favorite song at the moment, the words really speak to me, as if I wrote them myself:

Still, my soul, be still and do not fear though winds of change may rage tomorrow.
God, is at your side; no longer dread the fires of unexpected sorrow.

God, You are my God, and I will trust in You and not be shaken.
Lord of peace, renew a steadfast spirit within me to rest in You alone.

Still, my soul be still, do not be moved by lesser lights and fleeting shadows.
Hold on to his ways, with shield of faith against temptation's flaming shadows.

Still, my soul, be still; do not forsake the truth you learned in the beginning.
Wait upon the Lord, and hope will rise as stars apprear when day is dimming.
(Keith and Kristyn Getty and Stuart Townend)

I need not fear this trodden path.