We all have one in our lives, that one person, friend, family member, co-worker, or acquaintance, who feel it is their lot in life to always put you down. They seem to rarely have a kind word. It is of course always done with an insincere smile on their face, so as to appear to be a nice person. Yet, what comes out of their mouth is rude, sarcastic, insensitive, and makes you feel small. This is by the way, their goal. The purpose is to either make themselves feel better about themselves, or they are just plain mean. They seem to think that others will approve of their behavior and be impressed by it. I have never understood that. Why would others think cutting, unkind words to be a character quality to achieve to?
That being said, why is it those are the things we so readily remember? Why are those the words we hear in the back of our minds? I don't have the greatest of memories, but I can remember unkind words, words of discouragement far easier than words said to encourage and strengthen me. It is these words that have been floating around my head lately in my recent creative endeavour. There has been no peace, but plenty of fear and doubt. I have had many encourage me, but I have let the demeaning, and hurtful words of the past rule my mind. As I mentioned about the condition of my memory, there is really no room for these things.
How do I counter these haunting ghosts of despair? I think of Philippians 4: 8;
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things."
I have always been horrible about memorizing scripture, partly out of lack of discipline, but I believe I really need to work on it so that there is only room for good and right thoughts. So, when that self appointed nay-sayer spews forth their poison, I can simply smile to their face, knowing there is no room for their words to linger. Perhaps, by them not seeing me dissolve in front of them, they may learn that, 'no unwholesome word' should come out of their mouth, but only 'what is good for edification'.
New Years resolution? I don't know. I think it is just a change I need to make in my life. To not let others words consume me, but to also be careful that my words are of gentleness, kindness and love. Remember Thumpers rule?
Wow...have you been eavesdropping on our lives here...hearing my troubled thoughts and prayers on exactly the same issues? Has someone called and told you things? No, I know it is the same Spirit that works in you to share your heart feelings and minister to others. Thank you my dear friend...I'm praying for you!
ReplyDeleteIsn't God Awesome!
ReplyDeleteJulie, that's just what my step dad does. Especially to my oldest daughter. It seems to him she can do nothing right. He lit into her the day before Christmas and I just had to leave. I really should have told him to shut up and if he can't say anything nice not to say anything at all. He thinks he's helping her by saying all this mean stuff to her. Like she doesn't know all this herself, he has to shove it in deeper. i can't stand to be around him. We don't need people like this in our lives. We need to be lifted up with encouragement. Not drug down into a pit with them. They need to stay there alone.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad for that verse. I love it.
Kris
I am sorry to hear that. You're right, lifting up is to be our business. I am glad the verse encouraged you.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I read something wise and convicting, such as this post of yours, I think 'oh dear, did I do that? say that?. The tongue is a frightful thing and words can be balm or barb. You have written good words to remember as a great beginning for a new year. Thanks
ReplyDelete"I mean it in Christan love, of course".
ReplyDeleteWish I had a nickel....
You're so right about the remembering every bad thing and having to scramble through the piles to find the good and true. Well, bollocks to the naysayers. They only wish they were half the talent you are. So there. Unto them I say, "neener neener" and also maybe a "Pft".