Broad Shoulders

The morning did not start well, mainly because the last evening didn't end well. I went to bed feeling as though I was a disappointment to someone I love dearly. I didn't like feeling like that. It made for a rough nights sleep and when I got up this morning, not only was I still feeling badly, my arm hurt.

I had my tears, and prayed. I told the Lord I was sorry, that at the moment I felt like with all that has been going on, with my arm, not working, finances, still trying to figure out where I fit in the scheme of things, I was feeling as though I was being disciplined. I felt like all this was because of me making wrong choices, that I have brought this all on myself, in truth, even Dale's passing. I wept, and prayed, and asked the Lord's forgiveness, for His strength and wisdom.

Then of course, I felt badly for spilling all my thoughts and emotions on the Lord like that. But once again, in gentleness and mercy, He reminded me how much He loves me and how broad His shoulders are.

The Lord is nigh to all them that call upon Him, to all that call upon Him in truth. Psalm 145.18

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34.4

Be Thou, O Rock of Ages, nigh! So shall each murmuring thought be gone;
And grief, and fear and care shall fly, as clouds before the mid day sun. Charles Wesley

Take courage, and turn your troubles, which are without remedy, into material for spiritual progress. Often turn to our Lord, who is watching you, poor frail little being as you are, amid your labours and distractions. He sends you help, and blesses you with affliction. This thought should enable you to bear your troubles patiently and gently, for love of Him who only allows you to be tried for your own good. Raise you heart continually to God, seek His aid, and let the foundation stone of your consolation be your happiness in being His. All vexations and annoyances will be comparatively unimportant while you know that you have such a Friend, such a Stay, such a Refuge. May God be ever in your heart. St. Francis De Sales.

My Friend, my Stay, my Refuge, my Rock, my God, knows the quiet and the turmoil of my heart. He knew I would spew forth all my fears, hurts, raw emotions. It didn't alarm Him. He was not offended. I think He may have even said, ' Its about time, you poor frail thing! I have been waiting for you to come to me in truth. Now that you have emptied the poison of you soul, know how much you are loved by Me. The world still turns, I am still God. Rest in that.'

Oh, for that wonderful trodden path! I need not walk on uneven ground, through briars and nettles. That only happens when I take my eyes of what is laid before me.The Lord has gone before, He knows the way. He also knows how very human I am, again, that does not upset His sovereign will, time and eternity still whirl. When my own heart whirls out of control, that is when I run, not walk, to Abba Fathers arms, and allow Him to hold me as I unleash my heart. It is there alone, I find forgiveness and love everlasting. Such joy is mine then.