Thou art God

As I was coming back from paying off the first installment of medical bills, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, okay, a lot overwhelmed. I had the radio on, and all I remember of the song was"Your majesty Lord", when through the tears and the leafless trees, standing firm and vast, was snow covered Mt. Rainer, against the bright blue sky. I had to smile knowing all would be well.



When I got home I got my bible and started to read the Psalms for the day. It only took the first two verses of chapter 90 to again confirm the truth of God's sovereignty.

Lord, Thou has been our dwelling place to all generations.
Before the mountains were born, or Thou did give birth to the earth and the world,
Even from everlasting to everlasting, Thou art God.

Thou art God. Plain and simple, yet, how my pea brain can't even begin to truly understand that. But this I do know, He is God. He is my God. He knows my circumstance, He knows my name. I am so grateful for His faithfulness and loving kindness, His gentleness in how He reminded me of these things today. His creation and His word. He is steadfast and constant, when I and the rest of the world are not. I have no reason to doubt His care for me, for His promises are unchanging as He is unchanging. So why do I allow things to overwhelm me, why do I get fearful, when will I learn? I know, I am only human, I shouldn't be so tough on myself.
But the questions remain.

It is strange how it seemed easier to trust the Lord when Dale was alive. As though Dale being tangible, made God's promises more tangible. Perhaps that doesn't make sense, but Dale brought home the pay check, he saw to it that business things were taken care of, we would talk about things, he would make the final decision. That was just fine by me. Dale was my provider, protector, my spiritual leader, my priest , my head, he stood in the gap, so to speak, for me. Now I go it alone. I am the provider, protector, spiritual leader of my home, I guess I am still not use to it, nor do I like it much. But it is what it is, which is why I so don't want to mess things up, because it will be all my fault if I do. I want to trust, not just in knowledge, but to truly trust the Lord with my whole heart. I want to know and understand Him as my Provider, Protector, Spiritual Head. It isn't always easy, but I so desire it. I don't want to be a wimp, I want others to see Christ in me. I don't want to disappoint the Lord.

Thou art God, today, that is enough.