Changes

One of the down sides to having a blog, is when you don't have anything to write about. There are times I feel a bit dry inside, and there are no thoughts that flow, or the thoughts that do flow, I figure no one else would want to know about. It it kind of like the teacher voice from the Peanuts cartoons, you know the 'Whaa, whaa, whaa, whaa...' or in today's lingo, blah, blah, blah.

Today, however, I made a discovery, one that I already knew, but that really came to be a reality to me; my baby is getting married in 6 weeks, and will be moving to California, and I will be all alone. I am so at peace with her getting married, that is not the issue, it is the fact that she will be going away. That is hard for me to think of. I love my girls. It has always been hard, a good hard, to watch the older two girls marry and start their own homes. That is what I have raised them for. But my baby.

Emily has been such a stronghold for me in the past year and a half, actually the past 2 and a half. She has been my constant friend, support, my encourager. I will miss that. I in no way begrudge her new life, I am excited to watch her blossom in her journey of being a wife and homemaker. It is a joy! I guess it is just the reality, that yet another aspect of my life is changing. For some, they relish the idea of change. I am not one of those said people. Yet, I was thrown into a world of change, because of one final breathe.

I am not longer wife, homemaker, pastor's wife, and now my role as mom totally changes. Now comes the task of shifting gears, forging new paths, rethinking plans, learning to go it alone. Oi! I know the Lord will help me. I know He will give me wisdom. I know I will be alright. Yet, it is hard when your heart has been in pieces for so long, without respite to put it back together. I can guarantee, it won't look the same, it won't beat the same, but it will continue to function. Who knows, I might be surprised with the end result.