Mixed Bag

What a mixed bag of events I have right now. A wedding, 2 new grandbabies on the way, a new career, an empty nest. Emotions of joy, of apprehension and even sadness. It does keep one on their toes.

I was doing laundry yesterday, preparing for a road trip with my mom. Some of the things to be washed were clothes my girls wore when they were small. I wanted to get them washed up, mended if necessary before dividing them between my girls, who are both having girls. Yes, I am in tea party heaven! At the bottom of the box the clothes were in were two pairs of small, white shoes. I had to stop, pick them up and caress them. Such wee feet once wore these, now those same wee feet, not so wee anymore, are either married with a child and one on the way, or married and expecting her first child, or soon to be married. O truly, where has the time gone. Soon, the last pair of feet to wear these shoes will walk down the isle, to one very dear young man, and then get into a car and drive away (enter empty nest). It is amazing to me that I am at this chapter of my life. As I held those shoes, I thought how different my role as a mom would be from here on out.

When Emily came home from work, I could tell she had had a tough day at work. She proceeded to tell me of her day. I listened and them tried to encourage her. 'One more month!' was her reply. It is hard as a mom when you can no longer give a hug and a cookie to make the world seem brighter. Life is hard, and I can no longer protect my girls from the ugly of this world, by snuggling up on a couch and read a book, or build a tent under the table to pretend a happier place.

Later, Grace called and was upset about something. She was fearful and concerned about a health thing. She has had a tough pregnancy from the start. We are all a bit gun shy when it comes to health issues, because of Dale. After I listened through her tears and sobs, I tried to give her encouragement and strengthen her heart. When we got off the phone she was doing better. It was hard not to be close enough to hug her, to kiss her boo and make it better. I love my girls and love having them around me. I sometimes long for them to the point of physical pain. But seeing them with the men God intended, having babes of their own, there is no greater joy. I will always be Mama. Near or far.