Psalm 144.1,2,15
Blessed be the Lord, my Rock,
Who trains my hands for war,
and my fingers for battle;
my Lovingkindness and my Fortress,
my Stronghold and my Deliverer;
my Shield and He in whom I take Refuge.
How blessed are the people who are so situated;
How blessed are the people whose God is the Lord!
Can there be any better words for whatever one's own personal battle may be?
Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Creature of habit
I really am, mostly when it comes to my normal routine. This week, my routine was, well, none existent, for the most part. Monday was good. Tuesday I prepared for some friends to come for a few days. I was really looking forward to them coming. I hadn't seen them for about a year. They arrived Tuesday evening and left this morning. We had a wonderful time, but I really missed my routine.
Each morning when I wake, I make have breakfast, which 99% of the time is a bowl of Cheerios. If only my parents would have bought stock for me at the moment the first Cheerio passed my lips! I would never have to go to work! I wonder how many boxes I have consumed in my lifetime? Cheerios where even thrown at my wedding by friends who knew how much I love my little oat O's! Anyway, after breakfast I make a cup of tea and have my devotions. Then I get myself put together for the day and tackle the tasks at hand. To some, this simple basic routine, may not seem like much, but if I don't start my day this way, I feel very undone and out of sorts.
There were long hugs good bye this morning, kisses on cheeks, even teary eyes, but as we waved them done the road, there was a sigh heard, and I knew it was simply that routine would again ensue, and the comfort of normality would be felt again.
I am grateful for my little corner of the world. I am blessed. Yet, I think it is good to have pleasant disruptions to be reminded of the simple joys afforded us. I look forward to my spot on the couch with my favorite mug of tea, my well worn bible, and the voice of my Savior.
Each morning when I wake, I make have breakfast, which 99% of the time is a bowl of Cheerios. If only my parents would have bought stock for me at the moment the first Cheerio passed my lips! I would never have to go to work! I wonder how many boxes I have consumed in my lifetime? Cheerios where even thrown at my wedding by friends who knew how much I love my little oat O's! Anyway, after breakfast I make a cup of tea and have my devotions. Then I get myself put together for the day and tackle the tasks at hand. To some, this simple basic routine, may not seem like much, but if I don't start my day this way, I feel very undone and out of sorts.
There were long hugs good bye this morning, kisses on cheeks, even teary eyes, but as we waved them done the road, there was a sigh heard, and I knew it was simply that routine would again ensue, and the comfort of normality would be felt again.
I am grateful for my little corner of the world. I am blessed. Yet, I think it is good to have pleasant disruptions to be reminded of the simple joys afforded us. I look forward to my spot on the couch with my favorite mug of tea, my well worn bible, and the voice of my Savior.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
New Day
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, 'My Refuge and my Fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' " Ps. 91.1
This was the gentle mercy given to me today, by my Heavenly Father. How cleansing, how refreshing to my soul, is this most love, familiar verse. The sun is shining inside and out.
(the following is what I posted on my other blog , www.iglitteredthecat.blogspot.com)
Thank you for the kind comments of encouragement left, here and on my old blog. I even had a personal email and phone call to strengthen and encourage. Thanks Cait and Sue.
My 'old blog' you may ask? Yes, I have started it up again, and will from here on out go back to it to write the deeper things as before, and leave this blog for the more light hearted. Sorry to be wishy washy, but my heart just seems to be leaning that way. Over at Trodden Path, (http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/) you will see a few posts down how I wrote I would be leaving to come here and close the pathway down. Then, one day a cyber glitch happened. I posted something on this blog, only to find it also posted on the old blog. Don't know how it happened but it did. So, it got me to think, I should start it up again. Inconsistent? Maybe, but as my life is so crazy and often runs in circles, it seems, why not with my blogs too.
Please visit both, I enjoy having them, I enjoy the comments, and I enjoy looking to see where my silent followers hail from, and am flattered that you visit. Thank you.
It is a new day, I am grateful. As Dale would day, 'Today is a new day. No one has walked it before.' So today, I trod this new path, wherever the Lord would lead, smiling because I have been loved and strengthened by you. Blessings.
This was the gentle mercy given to me today, by my Heavenly Father. How cleansing, how refreshing to my soul, is this most love, familiar verse. The sun is shining inside and out.
(the following is what I posted on my other blog , www.iglitteredthecat.blogspot.com)
Thank you for the kind comments of encouragement left, here and on my old blog. I even had a personal email and phone call to strengthen and encourage. Thanks Cait and Sue.
My 'old blog' you may ask? Yes, I have started it up again, and will from here on out go back to it to write the deeper things as before, and leave this blog for the more light hearted. Sorry to be wishy washy, but my heart just seems to be leaning that way. Over at Trodden Path, (http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/) you will see a few posts down how I wrote I would be leaving to come here and close the pathway down. Then, one day a cyber glitch happened. I posted something on this blog, only to find it also posted on the old blog. Don't know how it happened but it did. So, it got me to think, I should start it up again. Inconsistent? Maybe, but as my life is so crazy and often runs in circles, it seems, why not with my blogs too.
Please visit both, I enjoy having them, I enjoy the comments, and I enjoy looking to see where my silent followers hail from, and am flattered that you visit. Thank you.
It is a new day, I am grateful. As Dale would day, 'Today is a new day. No one has walked it before.' So today, I trod this new path, wherever the Lord would lead, smiling because I have been loved and strengthened by you. Blessings.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Hanging on
"We should all endeavor and labor for a calmer spirit, that we may the better serve God in praying to Him and praising Him; and serve one another in love, that we may be fitted to do
and receive good; that we may make our passage to heaven more easy and cheerful,
without drooping and hanging the wing. So much as we are quiet and cheerful upon the ground, so much we live, and are, as it were, in heaven." Rev. Richard Sibbes (1577-1635).
I have much been drooping and hanging the wing, these days. I have not been able to figure out why, or what has made me droop and hang, till this morning as I was lying in bed. I woke at about 5am and felt heavy in my soul. So, I rolled over and slept till about 6:30am. I told myself I should get up, exercise and get my day started. It took me till 8am to finally get out of bed. But as I lay there, tossing and turning, praying, thinking, trying to put a finger on it, it came to me, something that I have not wanted to admit for a long time, something a friend has tried to get me to see some time ago. I finally admitted I was depressed.
Christians aren't suppose to be depressed, it shows like of faith and trust in the Lord. It shows self pity and lack of discipline, lack of spiritual growth. These are things I have heard from others over the years. I don't know how true it is, or whether these are people who have never had a bad day in their life and can't even begin to understand the dark night of the soul. But the fact remains, I am depressed.
I think I first really started to understand that a few days ago when I went with Grace and Matthew to a Dr. appointment where they were to find out if they were having a girl or a boy. We were all excited. As we watched the screen as the ultrasound took place, which is an amazing thing in its self, we all rejoiced when we found out the wee miracle was a girl! We squealed, cried, laughed with joy! It was wonderful. But very soon after, I found myself feeling sad and weighed down. I know in part it was because I thought of Dale, how he would have loved having a granddaughter. He loved his girls so much, he would have been a puddle having a grandgirl.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get beyond the deep grief and sorrow. Will I ever have motivation and desire again? Will I just learn how to look happy on the outside, function in the daily grind of life, and make my pillow soggy at night when alone? I don't like depression. I don't like how it makes me feel. I don't like how it eats away at my days, my joy, my soul. Yet, I don't know how to climb out. I don't want to droop and drag my wings anymore, I want to walk in strength with my hands lifted high. I want my worship to be real and strong.
It isn't an easy thing to admit. It isn't an easy thing to talk about for fear of what people will say, of how I will be perceived. It is a lonely place to be, but it is mine and I shall walk it. I will trust, it is only for a season, that the Lord will bring me to a place of joy and peace again, and that I will be the better for it.
and receive good; that we may make our passage to heaven more easy and cheerful,
without drooping and hanging the wing. So much as we are quiet and cheerful upon the ground, so much we live, and are, as it were, in heaven." Rev. Richard Sibbes (1577-1635).
I have much been drooping and hanging the wing, these days. I have not been able to figure out why, or what has made me droop and hang, till this morning as I was lying in bed. I woke at about 5am and felt heavy in my soul. So, I rolled over and slept till about 6:30am. I told myself I should get up, exercise and get my day started. It took me till 8am to finally get out of bed. But as I lay there, tossing and turning, praying, thinking, trying to put a finger on it, it came to me, something that I have not wanted to admit for a long time, something a friend has tried to get me to see some time ago. I finally admitted I was depressed.
Christians aren't suppose to be depressed, it shows like of faith and trust in the Lord. It shows self pity and lack of discipline, lack of spiritual growth. These are things I have heard from others over the years. I don't know how true it is, or whether these are people who have never had a bad day in their life and can't even begin to understand the dark night of the soul. But the fact remains, I am depressed.
I think I first really started to understand that a few days ago when I went with Grace and Matthew to a Dr. appointment where they were to find out if they were having a girl or a boy. We were all excited. As we watched the screen as the ultrasound took place, which is an amazing thing in its self, we all rejoiced when we found out the wee miracle was a girl! We squealed, cried, laughed with joy! It was wonderful. But very soon after, I found myself feeling sad and weighed down. I know in part it was because I thought of Dale, how he would have loved having a granddaughter. He loved his girls so much, he would have been a puddle having a grandgirl.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get beyond the deep grief and sorrow. Will I ever have motivation and desire again? Will I just learn how to look happy on the outside, function in the daily grind of life, and make my pillow soggy at night when alone? I don't like depression. I don't like how it makes me feel. I don't like how it eats away at my days, my joy, my soul. Yet, I don't know how to climb out. I don't want to droop and drag my wings anymore, I want to walk in strength with my hands lifted high. I want my worship to be real and strong.
It isn't an easy thing to admit. It isn't an easy thing to talk about for fear of what people will say, of how I will be perceived. It is a lonely place to be, but it is mine and I shall walk it. I will trust, it is only for a season, that the Lord will bring me to a place of joy and peace again, and that I will be the better for it.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Wishy-washy
So, I must look very wishy-washy. A couple of posts down I said I was closing this blog as I felt it was time. And yet, the last post, which was not to be here, got here. Hmmm (Holy Spirit?). I have been writing on my art blog, http://www.iglitteredthecat.blogspot.com, which I turned into a write whatever blog, and yet often when I go to write, this one pops up. I have deleted posts here, because, 'they weren't suppose to be here'. I ramble.
I have continued to check this blog as to readership activity. Many are still reading, past postings I am assuming, and have even gain a new follower. Perhaps I was hasty. Perhaps my thoughts and words need to be here on this trodden path of mine. Am I back? We will see.
I have continued to check this blog as to readership activity. Many are still reading, past postings I am assuming, and have even gain a new follower. Perhaps I was hasty. Perhaps my thoughts and words need to be here on this trodden path of mine. Am I back? We will see.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Click
I have been in the process of making brochures, and a cataloge for my new business. Oi! One would think they could make software for the computer challenged like me. Or at least give easier, complete instructions on how to use it.
I started with a brochure. Once I figured out what to do, it seemed easy, until things started to happen, and I didn't know how to fix it. I clicked and only made it worse. I realize I should be able to just click on any icon and get the result I want. Sometimes I did, sometimes, I didn't. As a result, sometimes I was pleased, sometimes I was ready to throw a hammer through the screen!
It is amazing what our technology allows us to be able to to. On Sunday, my daughter and I took pictures of the family, as we got together for Mother's Day. Emily downloaded them onto her computer, and we started to look through them. We came to a picture of the two of us, that I will be sending to our church for a new directory they are making. I wasn't real pleased with it as I had a blemish on my face. Not real attractive. And then, with one click, Emily made it go away! I was pleased to say the least.
As I was working on the brochure, clicking to change this, clicking to add that, I caught the words of a song that was playing in the living room. It was a love song. The singer was singing about, holding her love, touching his face; I got a bit teary. Actually, I had been teary throughout the day. I was missing Dale, and thinking a lot about him. I thought how nice it would be to be able to click a button and go back in time. To be able to go to a moment in time and appreciate it more. To love more, and better. To not allow a selfish petty thing, take away from being with the one I love. To not say, 'not now', 'I'm busy', 'I really don't want to go fishing with you'. You get what I am saying. How many regrets I have. How I wish I didn't. Oh, to just click a button and change, what never can be.
Life is short, it is unexpected. My friend found that out Monday night, when she took her husband to the hospital because he wasn't feeling well. He passed away. So quickly, so unprepared. Never again, to be able to say I love you, just one more time, or to steal one more kiss. Please don't find yourself someday feeling the same way. Love hard, love well, love now.
I started with a brochure. Once I figured out what to do, it seemed easy, until things started to happen, and I didn't know how to fix it. I clicked and only made it worse. I realize I should be able to just click on any icon and get the result I want. Sometimes I did, sometimes, I didn't. As a result, sometimes I was pleased, sometimes I was ready to throw a hammer through the screen!
It is amazing what our technology allows us to be able to to. On Sunday, my daughter and I took pictures of the family, as we got together for Mother's Day. Emily downloaded them onto her computer, and we started to look through them. We came to a picture of the two of us, that I will be sending to our church for a new directory they are making. I wasn't real pleased with it as I had a blemish on my face. Not real attractive. And then, with one click, Emily made it go away! I was pleased to say the least.
As I was working on the brochure, clicking to change this, clicking to add that, I caught the words of a song that was playing in the living room. It was a love song. The singer was singing about, holding her love, touching his face; I got a bit teary. Actually, I had been teary throughout the day. I was missing Dale, and thinking a lot about him. I thought how nice it would be to be able to click a button and go back in time. To be able to go to a moment in time and appreciate it more. To love more, and better. To not allow a selfish petty thing, take away from being with the one I love. To not say, 'not now', 'I'm busy', 'I really don't want to go fishing with you'. You get what I am saying. How many regrets I have. How I wish I didn't. Oh, to just click a button and change, what never can be.
Life is short, it is unexpected. My friend found that out Monday night, when she took her husband to the hospital because he wasn't feeling well. He passed away. So quickly, so unprepared. Never again, to be able to say I love you, just one more time, or to steal one more kiss. Please don't find yourself someday feeling the same way. Love hard, love well, love now.
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