Three Widows and Going Home

The first chapter of Ruth, finds Elimelech, a man from Bethlehem, his wife and two sons, leaving their home at a time of famine, to go to a land where they can find food. Elimelech takes them to Moab. For a Hebrew, this was maybe not the wisest choice. Moab was a people of false gods, of child sacrifice, a people God had cursed. They were a people of beginnings with Lot, in Sodom and Gomorrah as a result of incest. Not a place I would wish to take my family, but to Moab they went.

We don't know the time factor, but after being there for a time, Elimelech died, leaving Naomi alone with her sons. At some point they each took wives of Moab. And for ten years, Mahlon and Chilion took care of their wives and mother. Then, they both died. Now we have three widows, alone, with no one to provide and protect them, grieving. A mother in law and her two foreign, pagan daughter in laws. What a picture. Again, at some point, Naomi hears that 'the Lord had visited His people in giving them food.' Naomi wanted to go home. Home to what she knew, what was familiar, home to her family and friends. She was a foreigner in a godless land. The three widows started for Bethlehem, when Naomi told Ruth and Orpah to go back to their families as she could not provide for them in any way. They were young, could remarried, be taken care of. Through tears, and kisses and hugs, Orpah returned to her family, Ruth 'clung' to Naomi. It is here that Ruth makes a declaration of faith; 'your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. A pagan woman, turning her back on her family and the godlessness she has known all her life, to seek God Almighty, Jehovah. The ladies proceeded to Bethlehem.

We had lived in Reedsport for almost 6 years when Dale passed away. We had grown to love it and the people in the church. It was home. Yet the moment Dale took his last breath, it was no longer home to me. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be close to my family, my girls, my grandson. Six months later, Emily and I made the transition, uprooted, and headed north. It was a natural response to want to leave Reedsport. We had gone there because Dale was called to serve at the church. We had no connection to it before hand. We had no family there. Dale being there, being there as a family made it home. With him gone, our reason for coming there nullified, I wanted to go home.

Both Orpah and Naomi had the same natural response. It was apparent that Orpah loved her mother in law, for she wept at the thought of leaving her. At first she didn't want to go home. But her heart must have tugged at the thought of leaving her own family so much so that she stayed. She is often given a bad rap for staying in that pagan place. But it was home to her. Naomi's response likewise was normal and natural, though there may have been some she had gotten acquainted with, friends, in laws, who didn't want to see her go, thought she was crazy. Moab was not home to Naomi, Bethlehem was.

When I made the decision to leave Reedsport, there were those in the church that couldn't understand why I would leave. They felt it was my home, that they had become my 'family'. Feelings were hurt, friendships dissolved when I left. They just didn't get it. God had called us to that place, why would I go. Why? Dale was gone. He was the reason we were called there. I was no longer the pastors wife. My reason, my purpose for being there had ended. It was time to go home. It was a normal, natural response.

You may have friends who have lost a spouse and are making decisions similar to this; leaving a job, moving away. Be supportive. Please don't think you know what is best for them. Don't tell them they are wrong that they should do what makes you feel good, what you want. Believe me, it only adds to the difficulty of their plight, to the deep sorrow and grief they are going through. Pray for them, love them, encourage them. Making those kinds of decisions are hard enough to make on your own without feeling your are disappointing those you love.