Testing Place

Can you imagine spending 40 days in  a place like this, fasting with only water to fill you? Jesus did. 40 days without food, harsh elements, and satan tempting and annoying Him. Missing a meal makes me cranky! Yet, Jesus did this for us. He endured these things as an example for us. He endured these things so we would know that in the darkest, harshest times in our lives, we can know our Saviour understands. Yesterday, I was given yet another opportunity to be in this testing place, and to make the decision to trust my Saviour with my circumstance.

 I have two part-time jobs, well, only one now. Last week I started a new job, working at a nursery, the plant kind. I was really excited, as I love gardening and have 5 years experience in the nursery business. I left a good paying, yet high pressure job that I didn't like, to take a lower paying job in an environment I am familiar with and enjoy. Yesterday was my 5th day on the job. 2.5 hours into the day, my supervisor took me aside and told me they were letting me go. I was floored! I had been told I was doing a great job, yet now I'm being sacked! She told me the owner decided he didn't want to work around the schedule of my other job, which he told me in my interview he was willing to do, that others who have worked there longer were giving him grief that the new girl had Sundays off. So, I emptied the pockets of my garden apron and clocked out.

Of course I bawled all the way to my daughters house in disbelief, fear, anger. 'What are You doing?' 'I don't understand!' I spent the next 50 minutes crying and talking to the Lord, trying to figure it all out. I had prayed specifically that I didn't want the job at the nursery if that was not were I was suppose to be. That I would stay at my other job and just make friends with it, if that was were I was to be. I told the Lord I didn't want the nursery job, just because I didn't like the other one. I wanted to be in  His will, bottom line!

But now this! 4 days and 2.5 hours on the job, and I'm done. It is still hard to wrap my brain around it. Why the Lord would lead in this way. Now the task at hand is looking for a new job. I don't even know where to start. At present I am gun shy, but the fact remains, I need to find a job. There will be bills to pay. I can't not be working. I don't understand. But, I have walked too long with the Lord, not to trust. There is no other option.

This morning Hannah texted me with Isaiah 43.1-7
But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, 
they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
³ For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
⁴ Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.
⁵ Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you.
⁶ I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth,
⁷ everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

 Perfect words of comfort, for my Saviour who was tried and tempted, who bled and died for me. In this testing place, I will trust. I will know my Saviour better. Whatever His plan is for me, I will be stronger.

As I wait to see Him move, and lead me, I will do the next thing. Today it is helping do some grouting in the new church worship center, and later pick up Emily who is coming for a visit. I too, will relish in one of my favorite sounds, the first Robin of spring, and know that God is faithful.