Testing Place

Can you imagine spending 40 days in  a place like this, fasting with only water to fill you? Jesus did. 40 days without food, harsh elements, and satan tempting and annoying Him. Missing a meal makes me cranky! Yet, Jesus did this for us. He endured these things as an example for us. He endured these things so we would know that in the darkest, harshest times in our lives, we can know our Saviour understands. Yesterday, I was given yet another opportunity to be in this testing place, and to make the decision to trust my Saviour with my circumstance.

 I have two part-time jobs, well, only one now. Last week I started a new job, working at a nursery, the plant kind. I was really excited, as I love gardening and have 5 years experience in the nursery business. I left a good paying, yet high pressure job that I didn't like, to take a lower paying job in an environment I am familiar with and enjoy. Yesterday was my 5th day on the job. 2.5 hours into the day, my supervisor took me aside and told me they were letting me go. I was floored! I had been told I was doing a great job, yet now I'm being sacked! She told me the owner decided he didn't want to work around the schedule of my other job, which he told me in my interview he was willing to do, that others who have worked there longer were giving him grief that the new girl had Sundays off. So, I emptied the pockets of my garden apron and clocked out.

Of course I bawled all the way to my daughters house in disbelief, fear, anger. 'What are You doing?' 'I don't understand!' I spent the next 50 minutes crying and talking to the Lord, trying to figure it all out. I had prayed specifically that I didn't want the job at the nursery if that was not were I was suppose to be. That I would stay at my other job and just make friends with it, if that was were I was to be. I told the Lord I didn't want the nursery job, just because I didn't like the other one. I wanted to be in  His will, bottom line!

But now this! 4 days and 2.5 hours on the job, and I'm done. It is still hard to wrap my brain around it. Why the Lord would lead in this way. Now the task at hand is looking for a new job. I don't even know where to start. At present I am gun shy, but the fact remains, I need to find a job. There will be bills to pay. I can't not be working. I don't understand. But, I have walked too long with the Lord, not to trust. There is no other option.

This morning Hannah texted me with Isaiah 43.1-7
But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and through the rivers, 
they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
³ For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
⁴ Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.
⁵ Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you.
⁶ I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth,
⁷ everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

 Perfect words of comfort, for my Saviour who was tried and tempted, who bled and died for me. In this testing place, I will trust. I will know my Saviour better. Whatever His plan is for me, I will be stronger.

As I wait to see Him move, and lead me, I will do the next thing. Today it is helping do some grouting in the new church worship center, and later pick up Emily who is coming for a visit. I too, will relish in one of my favorite sounds, the first Robin of spring, and know that God is faithful.

Reconciliation

'...to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you may walk in a manner worth of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God, strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience, joyously giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints of light.' Colossians 1. 9-12

How can I please the Lord in all respects, to have spiritual wisdom and understanding, to bear fruit, to have steadfastness and patience, if I am not reconciled to God?

I was reconciled to Him at the time of my salvation, but daily I sin. Daily I st up barriers and road blocks that prevent me from being Christ-like. Each day I need to spend time before the throne, confessing my sins, and asking the Holy Spirit to make me aware through out the day of when I sin so that I can be johnny on the spot and confess then and there. Waiting for confession till the end of the day is like clocking in and out with a time card, allowing the sins to add up to make it worth the effort of confessing.

Letting sin build up make for a murky day. I can't see clearly, nor function as the Holy Spirit would like to direct.  My spiritual antennae can't pick up the right signals as the air is not clear. I realize during the busyness of the day I sometimes don't catch when I sin. But why wait till the end of the day? Why not make a conscious effort through out the day to stop and make confession, ask for forgiveness and make the path clear.

I need to continually be reconciled to the Lord so that I don't miss any opportunity to speak to another about the Lord, to minister to a hurting soul, to give encouragement to another.

Reconcile- to bring into agreement, or harmony; make compatible or consistent.
                 to reconsecrate.

'I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present you bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is is your spiritual service of worship.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of you mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12.1,2

Confession really is good for the soul.

Lent

My Pastor has been teaching on the Names of God the past several Sundays. The messages have been wonderful! This past Sunday he taught on Yaweh Roi, The Lord my Shepherd. The passages he used were of course, Psalms 23, but he also referred to John 10. 9ff; 'I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture...'

He told  a story of a man who was traveling in a middle eastern country. His guide showed him a rock walled sheep pen. The man was puzzled by the open space in the wall. "where is the gate?" His guide replied, 'I am the gate.' 

Christ is our gate, our door. He stands in the gap. He is the keeper of the fold.  He died on the cross to keep eternal damnation, which I deserve, at bay. The walls of grace and mercy surround me, but He is the door. His presence, the work He did on the cross prevents me from ever passing the threshold, lest He bid me to follow to feed on green pastures, or forge the valleys, or mountain top. I am forgiven. I am His. Forever.

Several years ago my family and I went to the catholic church  where my sister attends, for Palm Sunday . We were given our palm fronds to carry with us. At the end of the service we watched as my sister began forming crosses out of the green frond. She said that they keep them all year and on Ash Wednesday, they take the crosses to church to be burned, then the ashes are placed on their forehead in the symbol of the cross.

Every year since when I have had a palm frond, I have fashioned it into a cross and have kept it. I have several hiding in drawers through out my house. This morning I came across one, so I decided to burn it and put the symbol of the cross on the back of my hand as a daily reminder of the sacrifice of Christ. As I watched it burn, I prayed a prayer of confession, be me made clean, to be made right before my God.

All day I was able to glance at my hand and be reminded of my Saviour. Even when I was busy and not able to glance at my hand, I could smell the scent of the ashes, that campground fire aroma. I was amazed that it lingered all day long.  It kept me focused on this first day of Lent, of my sin, of contriteness, of  forgiveness, of knowing that in 40 days I would celebrate the resurrection of Jesus!

I am doing different things this year for Lent. New things to give a freshness to it. Celebrating Lent is not commanded in scripture. When I celebrate Lent, it is self-induced. I don't get legalistic about it. It is an exercise of discipline on my behalf, but it is more a desire to be refreshed and renewed as I do it. Kind of a spring cleaning.

Whether you celebrate Lent or not, may you always know He is the door. He stands in the gap for you. He died on the cross to give you the promise of eternity with Him. He died so you could make the choice to follow Him, or not. He gave the ultimate sacrifice, so you wouldn't have to. That astounds me!  Let His grace and mercy surround you. Let His presence give constant comfort as you are reminded of His great and loving sacrifice for you. He is your door!

Happy Valentine's Day!