Delighting

'Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desire of your heart.' I have always liked that verse, it gives hope that if I love the Lord, He will give my my hearts desire. Yet, I see this verse from a whole different angle now.

I had some gals over earlier this month to celebrate Epiphany. We had a great time! I needed it! Before they left they each signed my guest book. The next day I read through what was written. One of the gals put the reference for the verse above. Even though I knew it, I pulled out my bible and read it. For some reason, it overwhelmed me and I began to cry. Looking back, I think part of the emotion was not feeling as though I was not living my hearts desire. The verse played in my head for days. 'What does it really mean?' 'It can't mean I will get what I really desire if I am following the Lord.' I love words, their meanings, so...

The Hebrew for the word delight is: to be soft, delicate, pliable. Hmm, not what I expected. The Hebrew word for desire is: prayer, petition, request. Hmm, again. With those definitions in mind I pondered a few more days. I finally opened up a small commentary on the Psalms by H.A. Ironside. As soon as I saw the title for Psalms 37, I had my answer. But I read on.

Dr. Ironside stated that Psalms 35, 36, and 37 went together, 'the holiness of God in grace and judgement is specially emphasized. That is something I think we should understand clearly.' In reading the 3 Psalms back to back, you see how they interconnect. I was especially struck with 36, leading into 37. In Ps. 36 it speaks of how the wicked behave; words of evil and deceit, ceases to be wise and good, plans wickedness, loves evil. At end of the Ps. King David makes a cry for protection against the evildoers. But then the comfort and wisdom comes in Ps 37. Do not fret because of evildoers, they will fade away. But you...

Trust in the Lord...Do good...Dwell in the land...Cultivate faithfulness...Delight in the Lord...Commit your ways to the Lord...Rest in the Lord...Cease from anger. Three times in the first nine verses we are commanded not to fret. Must be important. We are given a total of nine commands. We are told how we are to conduct ourselves. All these things can only be accomplished when we are in fellowship with God.

When I am in true, honest, and pure fellowship with the Lord, He becomes my desire. Because of fellowshipping with Him I become more like Him. The more I become like Him, the more malleable and pliable I am, easily bent to His ways and will. As a result, my hearts desires become what He has for me. That is true delight.

It kind of takes a burden off my shoulders. For often when I have prayed for my hearts desire, and have not gotten it, I have gotten frustrated, disappointed. As I seek Christ, spend time at His feet, letting go of my worries and concerns, what I think I need, or want, I will be given the true desire of my heart. Him.

A new, not so new journey

This morning I was reading in 2 Peter, and the phrase rejoicing in suffering struck a cord in my heart. Really? How do I do that?

It has been a long, hard, almost 3 years since Dale passed away. I have shed gallons of tears, worn out a few dozen pairs of spiritual knees, and have journeyed down some dark and lonely pathways. I have often wondered if I will see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Yet, in all that, I have learned I can rejoice in suffering. Why? Let me start with a little preface.

A couple of weeks ago, my dad called me to let me know he has been diagnosed with lung cancer. He has never been a smoker, has never worked around toxic air. So why lung cancer? I don't know, God alone does. What I do know is that is has knocked me off my feet, once again. Not in the way of being angry at the Lord, questioning His goodness and will, but simply cause this is my daddy we're talking about. It hurts. It hurts to know my mom will be going through the same thing I have already gone through. A new journey for her, a not so new one for me. There will be new pain reminiscent of the old , experiences that will be familiar. There will be tears that wash down what seems permanent trails on my checks. It will be hard.

So how can I rejoice in such familiar suffering? Because my God is still the same as He was 3 years ago, He will always remain steadfast. In that, I rejoice. As He draws me to His side in this suffering, if I daily yield to Him, I will be tried by fire and become more like Him. In that, I rejoice. If my becoming more like Him will be of help to my parents, to my kids, to others watching us as we journey on this new pathway; if I can be an example of God's love and faithfulness, because of what He has already done in my heart, then, in that, I can rejoice. I can, I will rejoice in suffering, because...

Day 23

Oops, so I missed two days, not that I wasn't thankful...

Today I am thankful for the fact that I am now at daughter #2's home for the next few days, enjoying her and her family.

I am thankful for being able to spend tomorrow with most of my family, minus daughter #1 and #3. I already miss them. I am thankful however, that they will be with friends and not alone.

I am thankful for 4 days off from work. I am thankful for work, but glad I don't have to be there.

I am thankful for you  my few faithful followers. It encourages me to see you here, and when you leave comments. I truly hope the things I write only encourage, and aren't wasting air space.

I am thankful for my loving, patient Heavenly Father who has and continues to abundantly bless me with so much.

May you have a blessed day tomorrow...wherever you are...and with whomever you spend it with.

Day 20

It is cold this morning, 25 degrees cold. I am thankful I don't live in Alaska anymore where it is in the negative digits. This morning as I went out to feed my chickens some hot brown rice, to warm them up, I delighted in walking on the crunchy grass. It made me smile. The sky was a hazy pink, as though it was saying it was too cold to be any brighter.

Last night I had company in my home. Our church was having their annual Thanksgiving dinner, and since we can't really fit everyone in our fellowship hall all at the same time, we celebrate together, in different homes. I haven't had people in my home since I moved up here, aside from family. I have always loved to have others in my home, to do all the fussy preparation, making the table lovely, pressing the napkins. I really do love it.

I felt as though I was out of practice. I wondered how conversation would go, that was always Dale's job. O how I prayed yesterday! Prayed all would go well. Prayed there would be easy conversation and not dead air time. And I really prayed, a lot, that the games hens would be cooked through.

I am thankful for having such delightful company in my home.

I am thankful that they all seemed as ease, as I did.

I am thankful for lively conversation.

And, oh, I am so thankful the dinner was cooked, and cooked well.

Day 19

Today, I am thankful for sun, crisp weather, and bits of blue sky.

I am thankful for the ability to move about, to gather the remains of flowers in the garden to grace my home.

I am thankful for a warm fire, and cozy home.

I am thankful I have a God who loves me, in spite of me, who daily holds me up, strengthens my heart, and gives me what I need.

Day 18

It's apparent I have not posted the past few days. Its been one of those weeks. But I was reminded tonight that even though there are days like I have had of late, I am thankful it is not always this way.

I am thankful that though one I love now faces cancer, God will undertake, 'underneath are the Everlasting Arms'.

I am thankful that the Lord promised peace.

I am thankful that He has promised to never leave me or forsake me.

I am thankful of the love and prayers of those who love me.

Day 14

Warmth. Warmth of a cup of tea. Warmth of the presence of a friend. Warmth of a hug truly meant. Warmth in my heart when a grand baby snuggles in close.

 Today I am thankful for warmth. I am thankful for friends who gave me wood, that is neatly stack along my fence line. Thankful for Wednesday's weekly grocery store fliers, collected and stored in an old metal milk crate, waiting to be used as fire starter. I am thankful for perfectly split cedar kindling, waiting to crackle in the wood stove. I am thankful for my really cool chimney sweep, who takes his time to clean my chimney, to lessen my fear of a chimney fire. I am thankful that my house is nice and toasty. Just wish there was someone here to share it with.